BEYOND INSANITY

Are You Ready to Confess?

Chapter 9

JAMES ZONN woke up with a start, and made an attempt to stand up, feeling the pain on his side. He could not, and he realized that since he was brought into the den, he had been tied down, on a wooden board. He fought his way to recognize the three men standing over him. He did not hear the door to the dungeon creaked, but here they were, before him.

“You ready to confess now?”
The question was directed at him, and after sometime, he could make up the features of the three soldiers standing by each other in the room. He remembered that when the entire episode began, three soldiers had come to him, and the fourth day, he had been told one was dead. Now the same number had come back. There was still the tall soldier, standing at six foot nine, yes, the very one always addressed as the CO, that he assumed to mean their commanding officer. The second soldier was bulky, and he saw that he was balding. The man was plump, with a craggy face. He had short, brown hair and hazel eyes. From the brief time he had come to know him, he never saw him laugh.

The third soldier was probably twenty five. He never bothered to assume ages for the other two, maybe the CO was around forty five and the second solder might be thirty nine, and the new addition seemed younger. He did not feel any attachment to the men in the green uniform. Perhaps they had come to conclude how much time remained before he was killed.

“You ready to confess?”

The question, this time had come from the new addition. His voice equal to his stout body, Zonn could admit to that. What was he supposed to say? On two occasions he had been asked if he was ready to confess, but to confess what? He had told them he was no rebel, as the new enemies in the bush had been referred to. Though the CO suggested, during one his visits to the dungeon that if he was not a rebel now, he would be later, and therefore he had to be destroyed. What was that supposed to mean?

But what was happening with the war itself? Had the government been able to destroy the rebels? And why were they putting too much attention on him? He was no soldier, since seventeen year-olds were not supposed to be in the army. But if, he reasoned, the national army was now looking for people his age, then it went without saying that the war was becoming a dangerous one. It also meant that the enemies in the bush were using people his age, and even younger to fight the national army.

So what would he say to the soldiers? He had protested his innocence, and yet, they still brought him here. His parents’ residence had been razed to the ground; though he refused to accept it, he had a premonition to admit that his father might have been killed, since his mother was already dead.

Then the second soldier pulled him by his collar, and attempted to force him to stand up. The soldier held his collar, and pressed his hands together, choking him. The pain of the pressure shot through Zonn, grimacing in protest. He smelt liquor in the soldier’s breadth.

“Hey your rebel,” the soldier told him, “you have few minutes to confess. If you don’t confess, you will be responsible for your own death.” Then at the end of the warning, the soldier released him, as he fell heavily on the board. Zonn began to sniff, and the tall soldier commanded, “When I return to you again, you’ll be dead, you hear me?”

Zonn’s tears continued to come to his assistance. The thought of being killed, though he had been thinking about it, now made him afraid. The three soldiers stormed out of the den, and Zonn’s tears continued to fall. When the soldiers were outside of the dungeon, Zonn saw the silhouette of one of them taking off the fluorescent light that sent its rays, a flicker of light, into the dungeon. From the only window attached somehow directly facing the Atlantic Ocean, he heard the shrilled screams of the eternal sea, rumbling up and down. He had heard much about the life in the ocean, and wondered if that would become his last resting place.

“What about the sharks and all the human eating animals in the deep of the ocean? Won't they have a feast when I am thrown into the sea?”

He had heard they were man-eating monsters in the deep, who would attack their prey at the sight of blood. He tried to find a way to look at the heavens, but his position made it impossible. He wanted to look at the owner of the universe, and if possible, throw him some questions. He remembered at church service, and during choir time, he would join many of the Christian-brothers and sisters to sing the popular hymn:

“This world is not my home
“I am just passing through
“Heaven is my home, somewhere beyond the moon…” yes that song was his favorite and though he could not remember the rest of the words, that he could remember the few was comforting of some sort.

He was not really a good singer, but the memories of that song, whenever they sang it in church, brought him some comfort, as it was doing now. But did the soldiers also know that, like him, this world was not their home? So, if all human beings were strangers here on earth, why would anyone determine how long he must live? And also, if human beings were mere strangers here on this earth, as the hymn indicated, then why would the soldiers fail to understand that all of them shared equal responsibility in making this earth home more habitable?

After all, weren’t the soldiers supposed to defend and protect the Liberian people? Which meant all the Liberian people, right? Zonn could, from here, see clearly the sad specter of the Liberian situation. He knew, the current war and destruction would prick the consciences of the soldiers and all those making war in his once peaceful homeland, in the years to come.

But right now, the soldiers had told him they would be back.
And what did they say they would come for? He knew the answer, and with no help coming, he waited for them. “I may go home to the Father of tender mercies,” was his consoling thought.